Our Town

The Oakland Police Department has a neat little widget that allows you to create an interactive map of anywhere in Oakland, by crime and location. Here is MPK ground zero for the last three months. It's like a TV crime drama writ in JPEG.

Yay!

Two months today of not smoking!  I am so proud of myself!  I had a really horrendous crave episode on Monday night, but I had some Habitrol which really helped.  Someone was smoking outside and the smoke just wafted in everywhere.

I was gasping for a cigarette and I was afraid I was never going to get past this stage.  The whyquit website resets people's counters back to day one when they break down and smoke "just one" or take a replacement.  But this is my website so I'm going to celebrate!  I hate being addicted to it.  I've missed so much in life because of smoking.  Being so anxious over at visits to friends that I couldn't enjoy myself because my whole day was timed around the "first one".

Not going to places because I couldn't smoke there.  Being foggy and ill with constant sinus problems.  Not being able to be fully creative in my studio because of the background concern of lowering nicotine levels in my brain taking up unconscious and then conscious mental space.  The fact that I don't have health insurance and smoking is like russian roulette for someone with my genetic background.  (My poor grandma was so sick with cancer, her cancer had cancer, practically :( )

Now I'm back to my childhood addiction.  Eating pretzels in a ritualistic manner that involves carefully nibbling off the round parts and then eating the remaining triangle.  

Anyway.

Thanks for letting me share.

MPK

W00t!!

A great day for human rights! Link

Just woke up

A dream about my last day of class this year. Of course, odd changes...class is outside on picnic tables and I have a super talented kid who is a mutant that only has hands.

For some reason this year I had considerable anxiety about the end of the year. I had a lot of seniors and I felt like I hadn't done enough for all of them before they went off to graduation. I'm frustrated that my class sizes are so large that I can't spend more time with each student. I'm afraid my shyness will make it impossible for me to ever be able to speak before a large room full of people.

I guess this is why I dream about it, to try to get it right in my mind.

It was a fantastic year actually. I think I just didn't want it to end, even though I was very tired and was tottering around like a little old lady. I was also functioning under the thinnest veneer of humanity since I had just quit smoking.

I'm rambling. Maybe I'll post a link to some pictures from this year later today.

They're Made Out of Meat

A good lunchbreak read

Here's an article that looks great just from the first few paragraphs. It's from The Agony Booth, which is a sort of MST3K/Rifftracks inspired website, only with longer (humorous) analysis. This one is about the Incredible Hulk Movie of 2003. I've only seen bits of that one and that was enough to keep me clicking through the channels.

The Agony Booth is one of my favorite distractions. I don't always agree with their choice of "bad movies" but the writing is clever. It's actually inspired me to seek out some of the "worst" offenders and a couple I've actually enjoyed. But maybe that just means I'm one of the few people who can count themselves a member of the "Zardoz" target audience.

Anything to distract me these days.

I quit smoking. There, I said it.

I've been trying to compose some deep, meaningful insights into this process. I even considered blogging the whole quit from beginning to...hopefully, never smoking again. I don't think I'm there yet. I've isolated myself because my personality is still in free fall and I'm snapping out at things like a psychotic 8 year old. The physical side effects have been an affront to dignity. The mental ones were expected but still dismaying.

There's a scene in Iron Man where Tony Stark is fighting to get that part out of the glass box in his workshop, sweating and emoting and grabbing blindly at stuff to get stuff going so he can keep breathing...that's pretty much where I was a month ago.

Now I'm just living on cough drops and 4 hours of sleep a "night" hoping to get to some version of normal soon. I know I should be getting busy, getting in touch with friends, and exercizing. I'm not ready for all that yet. I pretty much had to quit drinking coffee as part of this thing. Not a happy camper.


Anyway. The new Hulk looks pretty cool.

Oops forgot this one

My brother and I used to don blankies and act this out in the living room.

80's cartoons

I had some students today raving about "Speed Racer". I thought I would post a movie or two of other cartoons we enjoyed from that era.

MPK

otaez in alameda

buffet $10
wireless $0
blogging over a mimosa with one finger on an itouch: priceless
--
Michelle P. Kern
http://mpkartist.blogspot.com/

high land, hard rain

My awesome parents gave me an "after Christmas gift" this year. I got all I wanted for Christmas so I was mystified when they told me I had a surprise waiting back in San Mateo. It was a USB vinyl converter to MP3. I've wanted one of these since I heard they existed, but felt a little guilty about spending shiny gold rocks on one. I love my vinyl records. All 50 of them.

Maybe not quite 50.

Still and all, I was thrilled and finally fired it up today. Right now as I sit here typing I am ripping a copy of "high land, hard rain" by aztec camera into digital format. I am in full nostalgia mode. Not just from the music and the rain storm outside but remembering how it was I used to make mix tapes around 1982-87. I had an old record player of my mom's that got a lot of use. It was "portable" inasmuch as it had a handle and hinged speakers that folded up like cabinet doors and could be hooked together. It weighed about 50 pounds and I crushed my instep a time or two from moving it around my room. It finally took up residence next to my desk on the floor.

It played vinyl. That was all. No output jacks for taping. My dad was an early adopter of the Sony Walkman, so I had one of those. (The size of a brick, would drag your pants down about 4 inches when hooked to your belt. Battery lasted for three tapes.) So I needed to make tapes of my records.

I got a hold of a tape recorder and a mike. I wish I had taken a picture of this setup back in the day, but it seemed perfectly normal to me. I would tape a note on my door: "No noise, do not disturb." Then I would carefully set the microphone down on the floor by the turntable. I put my fingers on play and record on the tape recorder. I then carefully turned the lever on the turntable that would start the needle going in. Push play and record on the tape recorder. And then take a deep breath. And hold it. Backing. Away. Very. Quietly.

This was my sound rig for at least 5 years. I even taped mix tapes this way. I don't think I bought a real stereo until 1987. I remember how revolutionary that seemed. Not only taping my records while going about the room making noise but taping tape to tape. Then I could use my recordings off the radio to augment my tapes (the Quake, fm 99 "Rock of the '80's".)

I switched to buying cassettes and then finally CDs only adding a record or so every year. In a fit of embarrassment I got rid of all my Duran Duran records (including 12 inch rarities that it kills me to think about throwing away now) and the Smiths records. I'm not sure why the Smiths got the boot, except at one point I got into a heavy Mojo Nixon/Dead Milkmen/Dickies rotation, and for some reason I guess I thought rock musicians could read my mind.


I was hoping to craft a post that came to more than "Wow, technology really makes things easier now!" but I'm not seeing the angle at the moment. I guess I could just say that this record pleases me just as much as it did back in 1985 when I finally bought it and it's just as fun even knowing that just an hour of work on my computer will bring it to my ipod Touch. I could have bought it on iTunes, but this is better. I even get a little burst of adrenaline watching the needle on the record so I can click "next track" in time.

Speaking of Mojo Nixon, here's my special edition colored vinyl picture disc of "Get Out of My Way!" Burn Down the Malls coming up next boys and girls...

MPK

Damn

I just found out that a school friend of mine is dead. Kristin Gudjonsdottir .

She was the best sculptor. So thoughtful and perceptive. I'm in tears. The alumni magazine that cca sends out just came today and said she died in April. Christ.

MPK

Car Blog...

I'm typing from my dad's car...technology: gotta love it. The wireless access was a little thin in San Mateo but now that we are in Burlingame, it's quite brisk.

Anyway.

We are heading up the El Camino to Millbrae Bart, since my panic disorder about freeways prevents me commuting by way of the 880 and San Mateo Bridge. My parents are big enough as human beings to indulge me in my nonsense and take me back and forth to Bart during different points in the week, so I can teach on the Peninsula.

Somedays I can park my truck at Millbrae Bart and drive myself down.

Sorry this post is kind of boring and pointless. I think my next post will be about Hawaii, before I totally forget about my trip. I was delayed by a fun little bout of cellulitis in my left foot. I was going to take a picture of it and post it for you all, but spared you at the last minute. So, you're welcome.

We're almost at the turn for Millbrae Bart and I will say adieu.

MPK

OK Not Tomorrow

Hi all,

More from the front lines of public edu-macation.

Today was our first "block day". It's an extended pair of days for longer class times for students. Wednesday is for odd periods and Thursday is for even days. I teach even days so I had Weds. off and taught all day today.

I was stressed out about the new schedule. My 2nd period starts at 8:35 on block day, so getting across the Bay is kind of scary. I had a bad experience in the spring last year, where Bart was REALLY late and I was five minutes late to class despite giving myself an hour cushion. Usually I am in my classroom a 1/2 before class starts. My paranoia about being where I'm supposed to be on time extends to my professional life.

It's funny. When I was a student, I used to have dreams about coming into a class and finding that I was supposed to be there all year to graduate and the final was in session and I knew nothing about it. Now that I'm a teacher, I'm having teacher anxiety dreams. I dream that I open my door and find that there is a group of students there that I've never seen before. They clamor around me and say "We've been coming here all year and you are never here to teach us! We need to pass this final to graduate!! Where have you been?"

MPK

First Friday

Today was the finish of the first week. Boy, the learning curve of last year is really paying off. I feel so much more on top of things. There are some changes. This year our program (CSM credit for the class) is accepting freshman. At first I had misgivings, as it has been awhile since I taught the younglings that young. But it's turning out to be great so far. Today was our first rally (that should read RAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!!! they are loud!) and I remembered how terrified I was in my first week as a high school nOOb. Like barf-feelings. I remembered to ask if my 9th graders knew where the rally was and led them successfully to the big gym and to where they were going to be sitting.

It's a small thing, and they probably won't remember it, but I feel good knowing I did it. After the rally, a student called to me across the great court who couldn't get his locker open. I opened it and he was on time to class.

I was so neurotic as a kid, I HAD to know where all my rooms were located before school. I HAD to be on time. Any little hitch sent me into a meltdown. I think that's the best part of my job: locating possible meltdown situations for my students and easing them past the danger.

Of course, you can't foresee everything, and that's hard. It's scary knowing that you are trusted and that you can fail.

More tomorrow.

MPK (aka Ms. Kern)

Teacher Girl

Yes, it's my first week back at school. Today is day two. First, I salute the students. I remember when 2 1/2 months seemed like a long break. And the 9 months in school seemed like FOREVER. Trust me, it goes by really fast, all of it.

Anyway.

As usual, I'm finding my way in slowly. My role at "adult leader". I see my new students flinch when I walk by and feel bad. I want to tell them my philosophy of life has evolved to this: there are children and there are adults. It does not matter how old you are. I've taught 8 year olds who had a lot on the ball. Very wise and a pleasure to know. I've also taught folk in their 60's who never got it. Who make a room full of 8 year olds look like a walk in the park. Just doesn't matter.

I'm tired today. More later.

Michelle Kern

Meteors & Staplers: Michael Deleon and Michelle Kern

Opening 6-9 pm, Saturday, June 16th 2007

Cricket Engine Gallery
499 Embarcadero Ave, Bldg. 3
Oakland, CA 94606

Info: 510.835.1920

Gallery hours:

1-9 pm, Saturday, June 16

1-4 pm, Sunday, June 17

1-4 pm, Saturday, June 23

1-4 pm, Sunday, June 24

For further information and directions:

http://www.cricketengine.org/contact.htm

Hope to see you there!
--
Michelle P. Kern
http://mpkartist.blogspot.com/

The Knights of the Black Hood

My first year on the front lines of our public school system has been instructive...to me, especially. There are moments of extreme consternation, but also moments that I really treasure.

In all our ceramics classes we have tables instead of desks. About 6-8 students to a table. I noticed as weeks went on that each table developed it's own culture and rituals, and I came to think of them as "pods" (like schools of whales). One of my favorite tables is a group of gamers I call the "Knights of the Black Hood" (KoTBH) after the day they all came in wearing black hoodies with the hoods up. It's kind of a visual. Maybe I'll draw it sometime.

They're a loud but genial crew, often discussing WoW, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and of course, today, Spiderman 3. I haven't seen it yet, so I was kind of avoiding their area, because I could hear them talking about it. Eventually one of them came up to where I was to get help on the next stage of his project. (Lest you think me heartless and neglectful, it was for mortaring tile and had to be done at my workstation anyway...).

I asked the student how he had liked Spiderman 3, and he said he hadn't seen it yet either. I said "Oh no, I hear J. over there talking about it, too!" A. says, "Yeah, he keeps saying 'spoiler alert' and telling details anyway." I said "Well, I'm avoiding him today! I don't want to ruin the details." We joshed for a bit while making with the tile adhesive. After he was done, I put away the tile supplies while he put away his piece to set up. I was walking to the sink to wash up, which is behind the KoTBH table. A. was on his way back and saw me and said, urgently:

"Ms. Kern!! Perimeter alert! Perimeter alert! Do not approach J.!"

Awesome.

Pandora

My buddy Stephanie showed me and some buddies at lunch this neat website Pandora, which I signed up for this morning and have now been on for three freakin' hours tuning up. You create your own radio stations by naming a song or artist as the "seed". Then the software uses these to look for other songs and artists that you might like based on the unique "genes" of the sounds, moods, beats, etc. and you get playlists that you can customize by rating the selections with a thumbs up or thumbs down. I've added the link to my playlists on the blog here. I'm still finetuning them. Just what I needed. A new time wasting hobby.

MPK

16 years

...is how long I've been waiting to see the work of Anslem Kiefer. 16 years ago a friend of mine took the picture of me seen here in front of the painting Isis and Osirus (back when you could get away with crazy shit like that).

When I was 20 years old, going to museums was like going to church. Especially the old SFMOMA. The beaux art building had beautiful light and delicate crown molding. The permanent collection took on a dignity it has never re-acheived at the new building (which, as you may have guessed, I hate). Back then, I saw the work of Anselm Kiefer for the first time in a publication that listed it as a new aquisition for the Museum. Even though it had nothing to do with what I was interested in at the time (painting fruit and trying to be the new Winslow Homer) I was struck by the reproduction and went to see the painting at the first opportunity. I was taking art classes at community college and got around to museums and galleries fairly often even though I didn't drive. I took my buddy Janet who then took this picture. I don't remember anything else about that day.

That painting changed me.

Many years of art school, art jobs, art friends, gallery this and that have stripped me of the illusions I had about being an artist 16 years ago. I'm no longer ravished by wonderment every time I step into a gallery or museum. Frankly, I'm usually depressed by what comes out these days, which made me start to lose hope. Art sustained my hope growing up in suburban hell. It got me out (if only across the Bay Bridge). I had dreams of a secret brilliant fraternity. Reality proved to be more down to earth, as it usually does.

The best legacy of these years has been making awesome talented friends, who have really sustained my hope. But I have been wondering why I'm still making art. I don't show, I don't sell. But I'm still making stuff. It sustains me. But I've been ready for a message in a bottle, some sign. Something to strive for.

Who knew I'd see it on BART last week?

Yep. A poster for Kiefer's show at the SFMOMA. My jaw actually dropped, in the first time I can ever remember.

Today I got to see the show. The only thing that would have made it more perfect was seeing it at the old MOMA.

Anyway. I'm definitely going again. Anyone with me?

Is it really procrastination if I'm an artist?

Hello to all 5 of you who read this. Sorry it's been awhile since I updated. I've been lazy on my days off since starting my new job.

And then just as I was feeling some balance in my life, Alex and I got into a car wreck last Thursday. We were leaving the driveway of the parking lot on San Leandro St. when a little Honda came out of nowhere (we had almost 100% no visibility on our left due to all the cars parked on San Leandro) and smashed into the front end of the truck, lifting us off the ground and spinning us 90 degrees to the right, where we narrowly missed hitting a parked car. The seatbelt grabbed me (thank Great Hera) and kept me from bouncing into the windshield. But I was thrown so violently in the crash that the seatbelt severely pounded me in the sternum. It's been really hard to move my torso very much this week. I tried to run errands yesterday, but I still hurt too much and had to cut it short. Today I'm much better.

The truck is a total loss. The guts on the left are jammed into the guts on the right. And the kicker is that we were at-fault. That's right, the driver entering the roadway is 100% responsible for making sure it's safe to enter. So even if you are a little Honda flying down a 35 mph zone at 45 mph (at least) and accelerating while paying no attention to what's in front of you because you are chatting with your boy-passenger and you hit a 2 ton truck so violently you don't even have time to brake and you lift it off the road and then carroom into another car and destroy its rear driver side tire...you walk away with no-fault.

Fortunately, there is some justice. She had no car insurance. Not a smidge. So she got a fat ticket and her car impounded. She somehow got Al's phone number and called him, upset because she couldn't get her car from the tow yard, and now can't get to work, to pay the fine or the tow fees and storage. Alex wrote the book on that (literally, yes. See, Undertow at www.smartasspress.com) so told her to contact his insurance agent. She's injured too, she tells him. Contact the insurance company sweetheart, he tells her. That's why they're there. Maybe you've learned that now.

Sorry to be so callous. I'm glad no one was seriously injured. But you'd be amazed how many things you use your torso for that you take for granted until you can't do them. Like getting out of bed.

Today I'm supposed to put together a new lesson plan for my classes, and perhaps a CD of images of my work to show the students. Naturally I've been goofing off on the internet for hours. I found this link that some might like:

Epitonic

I'm usually the last person to find anything cool, so if you've already heard of this, ignore me.

Classes are going pretty well. Most of my students are pretty great. I have a few meatheads, but the school's been really supportive about that. Pretty amazing since this is the San Mateo High School district and they've been in the middle of a devastating budget emergency all month. Positions got slashed all over the district, and Hillsdale is losing a few teachers, too. It's bad. I find out tomorrow who is getting the axe. My job is through the College of San Mateo, so I've been on the sidelines of this drama. The teachers and the students at Hillsdale have been tense but everyone's been trying to stay focused on education. It's really amazing. But now, who knows. I'm afraid this is going to be pretty demoralizing for the teachers and the students and staff.

The blame for this is getting lumped on the district, but it's really due to the corporations in the area who demanded to have their taxes reassessed (sued, actually, I heard). Not just the little guys, no. The big dot-coms who patted themselves on the back for finding San Mateo when it was cheap and small.

Nice going guys. Have fun recruiting from the pool of talent whose education you failed to fund.

Anyways.

MPK